qq invited many of the club’s elder members to have a dinner. I didn't know Kilo will attend. I thought qq knows what I was thinking. But beyond our expectations, ocell invited her. (my guess) When she told me about that at the place we waited each other, I was stunned. After a while of thinking, I decided not to appear. I feared of meeting Kilo and spoiled the happiness of their meeting.

I left and after I bought my dinner, Kentu called and told me that Kilo left too. Even so, I still didn't go to meet them. My mind was messed up. I thought Kilo didn't have to go. Her leaving appears that she really don't understand me thoroughly. Did she think her sacrifice could make me relaxed and going back?

But maybe I really don't understand her thoroughly either. She might think my action as a sacrifice, and I also messed up her mind. That's the reason she left. But what should I do? How could I treat everything just as fine and not happened?! How could I watch them talking, laughing and enjoy the dinner?!

Maybe many people think my reaction is very immature, but that's me and my belief. Yes, we don't understand each other. And the situation may last, forever.