Tossing And Turning

Yesterday I had done a stupid thing that made me tossing and turning in bed.

A 40+ years old female had breast cancer over 11 o'clock of left breast and underwent partial mastectomy and axillary lymph nodes dissection last Friday. A Penrose drain was placed at the medial incision site and the other drainage tube at the axillary incision site. I had scrubbed and joined that operation and I did know the plan about post-operative care.

Yesterday was Sunday. I didn't have my Sunday break and joined the ward round. Chief Wu would like to let the patient discharged and then ordered to remove the Penrose drain. Since I ran GS, I hadn't done any removal of drainage tube or stitch. I was a little excited to execute this order. But after I cut the suture and pulled out the tube, I realized I had removed the wrong one.

I did know the principle about when a drainage tube could be removed. I did know what a Penrose is. But I didn't make sure before removing. The amount of drainage was still much higher than 20 ml/day. What I did may lead lymph to accumulate in the axillary region.

I felt very sorry and apologize to the patient and family very sincerely, and the resident also told me it's not a very big problem, but it made me feel very guilty and think about the mistake all night. Even until now, I cannot concentrate on what I must do in the ward. I dare not to face the CR, Chief Wu and all the others. I dare not to go into the operation room.

How could I do to regain the energy and passion? It's really a torturous time…

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